The Sex-Filled Adventures Of Craig Caboose
by ZethroTheWriter
Summary: Craig loves sex. It's his favourite thing. Follow him on his wacky adventures to find sex.
1. Chapter 1: Entering The Club

Chapter 1: Entering The Club.

Craig woke to the sound of an alarm clock directly in his fucking ear. "Jesus Christ why did I put my alarm clock 0.3 milimeters away from my damn head?" said Craig angrily. Craig hucked his alarm clock out the window, and onto the burning pile. Craig went to his wardrobe to pick out his clothes for the day. "Shit…" he said, "I don't have any fucking underpants. Oh wait, that's normal. I always go commando." said Craig talking to himself like a moron. Craig looked in the mirror and slapped his ass, "DAYUM! You look sexy as hell!" he said like a complete egotistical bastard. He sprayed dry shampoo into his hair because he is lazy as hell and didn't feel like showering this morning, this tended to be the case most days. Craig looked at the wall where he seen the list of all the broads he's banged since the second he turned 18. "Man," he said, "I remember Caroline. She was as tight as a slim jim wrapper. Felt the same too." Before Craig left his house he put on his leather jacket which just said "Ladies" on the back, and put a pack of mints in his front pocket. "Always pack a mint!" he said with a look of complete douchiness on his face.

Craig went about his normal wareabouts like waking up at 8 p.m. so he could go to his favourite club, "The Dangling Pianist" and talk to the ladies. Partying was a huge part of Craig's life, right after sex.

Upon Craig's arrival to the club everyone else inside moaned of absolute fucking agony as they seen him. One guy even fucking slit his throat open with the long ass nails of the girl next to him. "LADIES! THE SEXONATOR HAS ARRIVED!" Craig commonly said this statement, and by commonly I mean every fucking day that he walked into The Dangling Pianist. Which was everyday. Craig walked up to the first female in sight, "Ayy baby, what's yo name?" he said. "Beth." responded the girl. "You know, you're spanking hot." said Craig. "You tryna get some fuck?" Craig then pulled his tight ass shorts out from his asscrack and proceeded to smell his fingers and gag. "Sorry baby, my shorts were so far up my butt I was starting to think I wore a thong today." he said. With a look of complete disgust the woman said, "That's fucking repugnant." and walked out of the club. "Well, the early bird gets the worm. But I don't want a penis, I want a puss." Craig said. Craig went up to the bar and asked the bartender. "Can I get a shot of Starting Of The Night Bad?" "Here ya go bud." said the bartender who slid the drink across the table. Craig slammed the shot harder than he slams pussy, which isn't saying much.

Craig walked up to another girl and said. "Are you a traffic light? Because I would love to take you to the bedroom." Craig wasn't so good at pick up lines. Yet somehow this girl was flattered. "You know, you don't look to bad yourself." said the girl. "I'm Sammy" She said as she grabbed Craig's hand and pulled him into the bathroom. She gently shoved Craig onto the toilet and started strip dancing for him. Craig, still not quite sure what was going on, pulled his shorts down and began to fucking rip ass into the toilet. Like, that toilet had a family, and now Craig's dumbass killed its bloodline. "Ohh, I see you're a freak." Said Sammy. Craig pulled Sammy close to him and whispered in her ear. "Actually, I'm Craig." That somehow must've released all of the hormones in Sammy because after Craig said that she began to levitate off the ground. Her eyes started to glow white as she emitted a moan so loud that Craig's penis grew at a rate he had never felt before. Sammy clothes disintegrated off her body as the light that was now glowing around her was so hot. Sammy slammed onto Craig's cock and started riding him. Upon every slam down Craig would shit a little. This went on for several minutes until Craig could begin to feel the herpes in his ass forming. Craig then stood up and slammed Sammy against the wall and crammed his dick so far down her vagina that every stroke he did the light around Sammy would only make her hotter. Craig threw Sammy onto the floor and only fucked her more. "I'm gonna jizz!" Cried Craig as he tried to hold it in. "DO IT!" Screeched Sammy like a banshee. Craig then blew a load into her pussy that filled it up almost instantly. Sammy moaned as she crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out.

After they cleaned up Craig walked home. When he got home it was 12 in the afternoon. He put his leather jacket on the goddamn floor, walked upstairs, grabbed a new alarm clock from the closet, set it for 8 p.m., put it 0.3 millimeters away from his ear, and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2: The Dance Battle

"FUCK OFF!" Craig said as he threw his alarm clock out the window and onto the burn pile. It was 8 o'clock at night and it was time for Craig to go to The Dangling Pianist. When Craig arrived outside of the club he seen a group of black people. Craig approached them. " Yo dawgs what be poppin' up in dis joint b?" said Craig. "Ayo shawdy wuddit do how it be when we goo." responded one of the black guys. Craig had no idea what the fuck he just said to him right now, so he said. "What the fuck did you just say to me right now?" "Ayo dawg why you gots to be disrespecting us b?" Said the black man. "What the hell is your name." asked Craig. "My name is J Dogg and these are my homies Tayzo, Cyclone, and Greg. And we be the Fornication 4." said J Dogg. "Yoooo, I fucking loove sex." said Craig. "Could I join your group?" "Maaan you gotta beat us in a dance battle if you wanna add another fornicator to the orgy." said J Dogg. "Aight bet I can beat you let's go!" screamed Craig. "YOU'RE ON!" yelled J Dogg. "LET'S GET HIM BOYS!"

Tayzo walked over the the massive ass boombox that was next to them, and turned it on. A dope beat started playing and Cyclone got to the floor. He was doing all kinds of random ass shit like jumping over his leg and doing the worm, but he had a fucking bulge while he did it. So every time he went down his cock would slap against the concrete floor. He quickly flipped up onto his feet and crossed his arms. "Beat that bitch!" yelled Cyclone. Without saying anything Craig got to the floor and started dancing. He would hump the air 3 times, moaning as he did it. Then he would stand up, put his hands behind his head, and air hump twords one of the Fornication 4. Craig also had a bulge so when he would air hump his dick would flop the fuck around. The crowd of people that has now formed around them started yelling. "OOOOHHHHH!" Craig crossed his arms and said. "Have you had enough yet?" Just then Tayzo jumped over the crowd and in front of Craig. "GIMME A BEAT CHANGE!" he yelled. Just then the beat changed. Tayzo did a backflip and landed in the splits, which was weird because Tayzo was really fucking fat, so when he did the backflip his tits flopped. He slid back up onto his feet, grabbed his cock and said. "I JUST PULLED MY FAVOURITE MUSCLE!" And quickly ran away. "Two down, two to go." Craig said. "Greg, stay back, I got this chump." said J Dogg who did a frontflip in front of Craig. "LEZ GO!" he screamed. J Dogg backflipped into a head spin jumped up onto his hand and pushed off into a backflip and landed onto his feet. "YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING CRACKER!" yelled J Dogg. Craig, with a look of complete mono tone slowly walked up to J Dogg. He had a look of complete confidence. Craig quickly spun around and clapped his asscheeks together, causing J Dogg to be blasted into the damn stratosphere.

Just then the beat changed again. It was a very deep beat. Greg slowly stepped out from the crowd and grabbed one of the girls watching. "Let's finish this." he said. Greg ripped the clothes of the girl and himself off. Craig also grabbed a random girl, and did the same thing. "Let's dance." said Craig. Just then the beat dropped. Greg slammed his cock into the girl's pussy causing her to moan. Craig picked the girl he had, and started fucking her. Greg saw this and went faster, causing Craig to go even faster. Greg began to say a chant that almost sounded demonic. "A CHAN OH TEE LA PO KA NE LO!" he yelled. Greg then started on fire and only fucked her harder and faster. Craig watched him intently as he fucked the shit out of the girl he was holding. Craig started yelling, loud. He yelled so loud a green fire started for form around him. They both started to float off of the ground as the fucked their girls. As Craig yelled Greg continued his demonic screeching. Their fires grew larger. Greg took his cock out and Craig watched it double in size as he then slammed it back inside the girl. The girl started foaming at the mouth as Greg did this. Craig stopped for a second and began to think. He had nothing but constant focus. He slowly slid his dick out of the girl and Greg watched as Craig's dick tripled in size as he then jammed his mastodon sized cock back into the girl and his fire only grew larger. Both of their fires have grown incredibly large. They both started to fly at each other at incredible speeds. As they flew they both yelled louder then they've ever yelled before. Then, they impacted each other causing a red and green spiral of fire to shoot out in all directions as they both fucked their girls as hard as they could. Craig was a bit stronger, Craig Blasted off until he wasn't visible. "I WILL BE BACK, SOON! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF GREG!" Greg screamed as he flew off into the distance.

Craig floated slowly back to the ground and gave the girl her clothes back. "Will you call me tomorrow?" asked the girl. "Hell no. responded Craig.


	3. Chapter 3: Girl's Basketball

Chapter 3: Girl's Basketball

Craig punt kicked his alarm clock out the fucking window ad onto the burn pile. "Take that BIIITCH!" he yelled. Craig set his alarm clock for 8 a.m. by accident, and Craig always had a problem sleeping. SO he decided to find something to do until The Dangling Pianist opened. He decided to watch TV. Craig walked downstairs into the family room, sat on the couch, and turned the TV on. He saw several commercials for things like soap, soup, shamwow, dragon dildos, and napkins. Until finally he found his favourite channel to watch. The Girl's Basketball channel. "Oh yeah, this is gonna be some hot shit." he said as he laid back and watched as the girl's tits and assess bounced as they ran around the court. Craig fucking hates basketball, but he loves tits, assess, and pussy. Some of the girls short shorts were so tight that a camel toe would show through their shorts. To most people that's fucking revolting, but to Craig it's hardcore porn. "Man, I really wish I could go to one of those basketball games." Craig thought to himself. Then the search for girl's basketball tickets were on. Craig checked everywhere, between the couch cushions, under his bed, in his wallet, in the crack of his ass. Then it hit him, "I'll just show the fuck up!" he said. He quickly grabbed his leather jacket and headed out of the house.

Craig booked it down the street as fast as he fucking could. Accidentally knocking over garbage cans and kicking small toddlers directly in the fucking face. Finally he got to local college in his town. He walked inside and walked to the front desk. "Hello sir, uhh, are there any girl's basketball games here soon." asked Craig. "I'm going to completely disregard the fact that you're asking specifically for a girl's basketball and answer you." said the secretary. "Yes, there is one coming up today actually. At umm, 8 p.m." "MOTHER FUCKER!" Craig yelled. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." said the secretary. "Right sorry sir. Be back at 8!" said Craig as he ran out of the building. When Craig got home he beat the pillow on his couch like it was ex-girlfriend. Throwing it against walls and kicking it down the stairs. "8 O'CLOCK IS WHEN THE DANGLING PIANIST OPENS!" Craig screamed as he hurled himself down the stairs on the wooden kitchen floor. "I gotta make a decision" he said. "Loose, easy to get pussies, or suuper fucking tight slightly more difficult to get pussy." "Yeah" Craig said. "Difficult to get let's go."

Craig gave himself a tuggie until 8 o'clock rolled around. Then Craig got up from his crusty ass couch and ran to the local college. When he entered he snuck past the crowd that was in the lobby and into the massive basketball court and picked a seat in the stands. He picked the front row. He man spread whilst he watched. A feminist happened to sit next him and saw him do this. She fucking exploded into a ball of damn rage and ran out of the building. The game started and Craig watched their tight little asses bounce around as they ran, Craig began to get a hard-on. Craig could begin to feel his urges break loose. Eventually he couldn't hold his urges in anymore, Craig shot up and ran onto the court ripping his clothes off as he ran. He ran up to the closest girl he saw, pushed her to the ground, ripped her clothes off, and started fucking her. Finally he lost all control as a beam of light shot out from his mouth and into the air. Just then, every other guy in the stands had a beam of light shoot out of their mouth and into the sky as they lost control of their urges as well. Every man in the stands ran down onto the court to fuck the basketball players. Except Sebastion, Sabastion is gay. An army of horny man crowded the court as girls' clothes got ripped off of their body and they started taking dick. Some girls had multiple dicks in their pussy's at once. Girl's were getting licked and fucked and rubbed and raped. Every man then came at once as the entire court was filled with filled with jizz. I mean literally a fucking 3 foot deep pool of cum. All the men watched as the girls spend 2 minutes drinking and licking the cum off of the ground until it looked as shiny as when they started.

Craig went home and lied down in bed, still fantasizing about what happened that day. He wished he could do it again tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4: The Drug Bust (Part 1)

Chapter 4: The Drug Bust (Part 1)

Craig used the cord to his alarm clock like a lasso to whip the clock out the window and onto the burn pile. It was a new day for Craig and he was ready to start it. Well, I shouldn't say day, it was 8 p.m. and Craig was ready to go to The Dangling Pianist. Craig sleeps naked so he grabbed his crusty ass black shorts and slipped them on. He went downstairs, grabbed his leather jacket, and head out to The Dangling Pianist.

When Craig entered The Dangling Pianist he was immediately approached by two men dressed in black clothing. "Ay man, you interested in some business?" said one of the men. "Um no thank you i'm into women." responded Craig. "No you fucking retard, are you interested in getting some money from doing a job for us?" the other man said. "I said i'm not gonna do gay shit you black wearing havin' ass." Craig yelled. "Keep your voice down," said one of the men. "it's nothing gay you dumb moron. We ne-" the man got cut off. "Oh! You need me to fuck some pussy?" asked Craig. "Would you let me fucking finish one god damn sentence?" the other man said. "Fine." "Thank you, we need you to do us a favour." said one of the man. "I'M NOT DOING GAY SHI-" Craig got cut off. "Oh my fucking God, I guess you don't want the 50 grand we were gonna pay you." said one of the men. "You're gonna have to pay me more to do gay stuff bro." said Craig. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S NOTHING GAY YOU ASS MUNCHING MONKEY FUCKING DONKEY LICKING MOTHER FUCKER!" screamed one of the men. Everyone in the club turned in there direction as the man screamed that. "You need to keep your voice down." said Craig. "I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOUR DUMBASS!" yelled the man. Both men and Craig then got escorted out of the club.

"We need you to help us take some drugs across the border." one of the men said. "We will give you a cut of the money, 50 grand to be exact." "Hmm," Craig thought. "i'll take you up on that deal." "Perfect, this mission is going to be dangerous and you might get hurt. So here," the other man handed Craig a handgun. "you'll need that if things get crazy." said one of the men. "Thanks, where do I need to go?" asked Craig. "Don't worry, we'll escort you to the van that will take us to the place." said one of the men. The other man then hit Craig in the head with a bat, knocking him out. When Craig awoke he was in the back of a van, his hands were tied behind his back. "Well look who decided to wake up!" said one of the men. "You think he'll be able to do it John?" asked one man to the other. "Yeah Bart, he'll be sorry if he can't." responded John. "Alright Craig Caboose, as we said you will be helping us getting these drugs across the border, but first, we have to get them." said Bart. "Ok, I get that but why am I tied up?" asked Craig. "We need to make sure you don't run away." said Bart. "Fair" Craig said.

After a while of driving the van slowed to a stop and John and Bart got out and opened the back. They untied Craig and let him out of the van. "Alright, we're here." said Bart. "Now Craig, you're going to need to stay calm when we go in there and not make it obvious that you're with the police." said Bart. "WAIT YOU GUYS ARE COPS!" yelled Craig. "Keep your fucking voice down, yes, we're cops." said John. "You won't be getting 50 grand when you're done either." said John. "What why?" asked Craig. "If you can pull off getting the drugs back to us so we can turn them in we will disregard the fact that you agreed to take drugs across the border." said Bart. "Wait, but you were the ones that asked me to take them across the border." said Craig. "Yes, but we can take you to prison for saying yes." said Bart. "What can we say, we're dirty cops." said John. "Alright now get in there Craig. Remember, you're working for J.D Gordon and you're here to take the drugs across the border. But in reality you're just some low life that loves sex that's just giving us evidence to bust these guys." said Bart. "Aight, got it." said Craig. "Good, now get in there." said Bart and the two men got back in the van. "We'll be around back in the woods, bring the drugs there." said Bart as he drove off. "Alright," said Craig. "nothing to worry about, you got this, either get drugs to those cops, or go to prison for a few years. Let's go."

Craig walked up to the door of the mansion that he was at and knocked on the door. He waited a bit until someone cracked the door open. "Who are you working for?" asked the man behind the door. "Uhh, J.D Gordon." responded Craig. "Ah ok, we've been expecting you Tommy, come in!" said the man. "Tommy?" Craig thought to himself. "The cops must have given me a fake name as to not reveal my information." "My name is Juan," said Juan. "We'll get you the drugs, but first, please, join us for dinner." "Us?" asked Craig. "You don't remember? Gordon told you there were multiple people here right?" said Juan. "Uhh no," said Craig. "you know Gordon, always forgetting something!" "That is ol' Gordon." laughed Juan. "Yes of course i'll eat dinner with you guys." said Craig. "Fantastic!" responded Juan. "Come come!"

Craig and Juan walked into a giant room that had several chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and a very nice long table in the middle of the room filled with people, with 3 open chairs. "Hey Juan, who's the last chair for?" asked Craig. "Oh, that chair? It's for a friend of mine, her name is Sammy." responded Juan. "Oh alright." said Craig. Craig sat down in one of the empty seats and Juan sat next to him. "Guests! Allow me to introduce my friend, Tommy. He will helping us get the 1 million grams of cocaine across the U.S. border!" said Juan. Everyone at the table cheered. Then the doorknob of the room turned and a person walked in, Sammy. Craig froze, it was the same Sammy he fucked at The Dangling Pianist.


	5. Chapter 5: The Drug Bust (Part 2)

Chapter 5: The Drug Bust (Part 2)

"Shit" thought Craig to himself. "Hello everyone, sorry I'm late i'm going to head to the bathroom then i'll join you for dinner." Sammy said walking back out of the room. "Uhhhh, i'm going to run to the bathroom too, I have an uncontrollable bladder that spews for no reason." said Craig. "Um, ok Tommy," Juan said. "that's kinda fucking disgusting though." "Yeah sorry." said Craig as he ran out of the room. Craig peered around the corner and saw Sammy walk into the bathroom. He snuck around the corner and quietly stepped into the bathroom and seen Sammy with one of her feet up on the counter. Sammy was rubbing her clit. Craig slowly walked up behind Sammy and put his hand over her mouth and accidentally put his crotch against her ass. "Mmmmmm." moaned Sammy as she kept rubbing her clit. "Oh fuck, I guess i'm going to do this." thought Craig who then pulled up the dress that Sammy was wearing and started to fuck her. "Just as tight as I remember." Craig thought to himself. Sammy kept moaning as Craig fucked her. While she was getting fucked she never looked behind her to see that it was Craig who was fucking her. "Harder." Sammy said through Craig's fingers. Craig went harder until he came inside of her. Craig quieted her as she moaned. Sammy put her fingers up her vagina and pulled them out. There was cum all over them, she licked it off her fingers. Then she turned around.

"WHAT THE FUCK! CRAIG?" Sammy yelled. "Shhh shhh, be quiet." Craig said trying to calm her down. Then Sammy pulled out a handgun. "Holy shit i'm fucked." thought Craig to himself as he put his hands up. "JUAN!" yelled Sammy. Within seconds Juan opened the bathroom door. "What is going on here!" asked Juan. "Tommy, what is this?" "Tommy?" said Sammy. "His name is Craig. Craig Caboose. He's a sex addict and he just came in here and came inside me." "No, his name is Tommy, he's here to help us take the drugs across the border." explained Juan. "I'm telling you Juan, this guy's bad news. Before I came here, I seen two guys dressed in black suits talking to him." said Sammy. "I'm guessing that they were undercover cops." "That's not true at all, I've never met you before in my entire life!" said Craig. "My name's Tommy!" "See, exactly Sammy, you must delirious." said Juan. "Now let's get back to dinner." Juan said as he escorted them back to the dinner table. "Guests, sorry for the delay, we are here now." said Juan. One of the men at the table looked up from his phone and said. "Hey, I've seen that guy before. Yeah, he ran onto the basketball court and started fucking on of the players." said the guy. "Shit, this isn't good." thought Craig to himself. Then a gun was put to his back. "Tommy, my daughter was playing in that game. I'm going to bring her down here and if what my friend over there says is true, you're in big trouble." said Juan holding a handgun to Craig's back. Craig put his hands up and said. "All right Juan. Let's not do anything we might regret now." Craig said. "I've never had a regret in my life." responded Juan.

After a few minutes Juan's daughter entered the room and instantly looked at Craig and said. "Daddy, him, that's the man who had sex with me on the basketball court." "Fuck." thought Craig. "Time to do something i'm going to regret." "Craig," said Juan. "You're not going to like what's going to happen to you." Craig then backhanded Juan in the face, pushed Sammy out of the way, and ran out of the room. "GET HIM!" yelled Juan as he slowly stood up. Everyone at the table stood up and followed Craig.

Craig ran into the hallway and seen a staircase, he decided to run up it. As he was running up and man named Skyler grabbed him by the foot, causing Craig to fall over and slam his face directly on the fucking steps. Skyler yanked him down the stairs and kicked him in the face. "Got him boss!" he said. Juan walked up to Craig and looked down at him. "Craig, it's lights out for you." said Juan. Then Juan stepped on Craig's face, knocking him out.

When Craig woke up he was tied to a bed and couldn't move. "Oh great, where the fuck am I?" he said. Craig looked around the room he was in and saw several things. He saw a whip, a saddle, a swing, and a dildo. "Oh fuck, I don't like this." he said. Then the ground began to shake. Someone fat, like reeeally fucking fat was coming to the door. Then, the door burst open and a massive, obese, fat, ugly, flabby, sweaty, naked woman stepped in. "Hey big boy." she said. "My name is Miss Cupcake. What's yours?" "Uhhhh, C-Craig." Craig responded. "Well Craig, we're going to have some tonight. Then, you're going to die." Miss Cupcake said. Craig then realized that Juan was standing in the corner. "Craig, this is Miss Cupcake, and she will be your living tomb. Miss Cupcake, you know what to do." said Jaun laughing as he walked out of the room. "Play nice you two." he said with a sadistic grin on his face. "Oh we will." said Miss Cupcake.

Miss Cupcake waddled over to Craig and ripped his clothes off. Then she licked up the length of his body. She walked over to the dresser and grabbed a whip out from it. "Let's start, shall we?" Miss Cupcake said licking her lips. "No that's ok we don't have to." responded Craig. Miss Cupcake whipped Craig right in the stomach. "Did I say you could speak?" she yelled. She walked over to Craig and lifted one leg over him. When she did this her pussy lips opened and a waterfall of pussy ooze dripped out lick slime onto Craig's torso. "Oh fuck this is gross." Craig thought to himself. Then Miss Cupcake started to pee on him. Craig started gagging. Her pee smelled like fish, blue cheese, and vinegar. Then she sat on his chest. Craig could feel his lung getting squished. "So this is how I die?" Craig thought to himself. "Getting squished by an ugly fat chick." "No, I won't go like this." he thought. "I have to try to do something."

Craig wiggled his arm trying to get it loose, his lung kept shrinking. He finally got his arm loose and started trying to reach his hand around Miss Cupcake. "NO, STOP RESISTING! YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ME YOUR STICKY ALFREDO SAUCE!" screamed Miss Cupcake. Craig kept trying, pushing and shoving fat rolls out of the way, when he reached her butthole. "Here we go," Craig thought. "Then Craig jammed his finger into Miss Cupcake's asshole. "AHHHHH!" screamed Miss Cupcake jumping off of Craig. Craig quickly untied his other hand and two ankles. He quickly grabbed his handgun off of the ground, jammed it into Miss Cupcakes butthole, and pulled the trigger. Her butthole silenced the noise. It's like a vaccuum.

Craig snuck down the steps and into a random room. The room he entered happened to be the room with all the drugs in it, he quickly grabbed a block and ran out of the room. "Hello, Craig." Craig heard as he left the room.


	6. Chapter 6: The Drug Bust (Part 3)

Chapter 6: The Drug Bust (Part 3)

"Hello, Craig." Craig quickly turned around to see Skyler standing there holding a gun. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "I don't know," said Craig. "but you're going to hell." Craig then hucked the block of drugs at Skyler's face and ran at him. Craig kicked Skyler in the balls, hearing a loud pop as he hit them. Skyler dropped to the floor and Craig stomped on his face, killing him. "Alright, now let's get out of here." Craig said to himself. Craig peered around the corner of one of the hallways and seen a guy standing there facing the opposite direction smoking a blunt and on the phone. "Yeah, that Craig guy is getting smothered by Miss Cupcake." said the man on the phone. Craig snuck up behind him quietly and snapped his neck from behind. "Another down." Craig said quietly. "Craig, biiig mistake." said the man who was on the other end of the phone call. "Shit." said Craig as he hung up the phone. "Alright, they're going to be coming for me. Gotta stay low." Craig ran down the hallway and around a corner into the kitchen. A man was in the kitchen because fuck you that's why. Craig grabbed a knife off of the counter. The chef got a call. "Hello?" he said, "Listen Barnaby, Craig got away somehow be on the lookout." said Juan on the other side of the phone. "Ok, boss." said Barnaby as he hung up the phone and turned around. "Heyyy, Barnaby." said Craig nervously. Craig held up a knife. "Listen Barnaby, if you move, i'm going to turn your balls into fucking mashed potatoes." Craig said pointing the knife at him. The chef pulled out a gun and shot at Craig, it grazed his arm and it started bleeding. "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! THAT'S MY JERKIN' ARM!" yelled Craig as he then booked it at light speed at Barnaby and tackled him through the brick wall that was behind him. This collapsed both of Barnaby's lungs killing him. The room that they fell into was the bathroom. There was a girl doing her makeup. "WHAT THE HELL!" she yelled. "What are you doing in here?" "Why, hello baby, you lookin' for a good time up in this bitch?" said Craig. "Mmmmm, you read my mind." she said bending over and pulling up her dress. Craig then began to fuck the absolute shit out of the girl, she was screaming so fucking loud that any animal in a 5 mile radius fucking died because of how loud her moaning and screaming was. "FUUUUCK!" yelled Craig as he came inside of the girl. Craig then slammed the girl's face against the sink obliterating her face. Finally, Craig saw the door, he quickly ran out of the mansion. "CRAIG! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Craig turned around slowly holding the drugs in his hands. Standing there was Juan, Sammy, Miss Cupcake, J.D. Gordon, Bart, and John. "BART? JOHN?! What are you doing here?!" Craig asked. "Like we said," said Bart. "we're dirty cops." said John. "GET HIM!" yelled Juan pointing at Craig. "Fuck." Craig said running out of the door. Everyone else followed closely behind him.

Craig ran quickly into the woods hoping that van was still in there somewhere. Craig looked behind him to see Juan, Sammy, Bart, John, and J.D Gordon on motorcycles following him. "FUUCK!" Craig yelled as he kept running. Miss Cupcake slammed down from the sky in front of him. "You think one silly bullet will take me down?" Miss Cupcake said. Craig pointed his handgun at her and fired the rest of his bullets into Miss Cupcake's face until she fell over. Craig parkoured over her dead corpse and John ran into her, he flew forward and hit his face on a branch causing the branch to shoot up through his face. "NOO JOHN!" yelled Bart. "You're gonna die you little shit!" Finally Craig found the van, got inside, and hot-wired it. Craig started driving through the woods and onto the road. "WOO!" yelled Craig feeling relieved.

Craig looked through his rear view mirror and saw everyone on the motorcycles. "God dammit." he said. Bart came up on the driver's side of the van and pointed a gun at him, Craig quickly rolled up the window and Bart shot it and it just blew past Craig's face. Craig slammed the van into Bart causing him to fly off of the road and ran into a tree causing the motorcycle to blow up. J.D. Gordon started throwing molotovs at the van. "Holy fuck!" Craig yelled as he slammed on the brakes causing J.D Gordon to run into the back killing him instantly but leaving the back doors wide open. Craig sped up to 100 miles per hour as the motorcycles kept getting closer. Sammy drove up on the passenger side and crawled through the open window and started strangling Craig. Craig reached forward and grabbed a broken piece of glass from the window and slit Sammy's throat open. "That sucks, she had a really nice pussy." Craig said. "Huh, Juan seemed to have stopped following me, then Craig looked behind him to see that the back doors were now closed. "I could've swore those were ope-" Craig was interrupted by Juan holding a gun to his head.

"Ok, Juan. I'm sorry alright?" said Craig. "Craig, you raped my daughter, that I cannot forgive." said Juan. "No that for that," said Craig. "for this." Craig then dove out the driver's door. "What the he-" Juan was cut off by the van driving off off of a cliff and blowing up at the bottom. Craig, who was now lying on the concrete, slowly stood up and said, "Welp, that was fun." Craig then proceeded to walk all the way home, put the drugs in his closet and take an alarm clock out. He set it for 8 p.m. and was ready for the next day.


	7. Chapter 7: The Alarm Clock

Chapter 7: The Alarm Clock

"Listen here you little shit." Craig says looking at his alarm clock. "I fucking hate you and i'm gonna show your dumbass how much I hate you." Craig breaks the alarm clock over his knee and throws it out the window and onto the burn pile. "Time to go to The Dangling Pianist!" Craig said with a smile on his face. Craig walked down to The Dangling Pianist and saw nobody outside of it. "How odd." said Craig. Craig walked up to the door and saw a sign on it. "Oh right, The Dangling Pianist isn't open on Tuesdays. Because who the fuck parties on a motherfucking Tuesday?" said Craig. Depressed, Craig walks back home.

"I guess I'll just have to sleep until tomorro-" Craig froze. There was an alarm clock sitting on the floor of his room. "Now," he said. "I know for a fact that I threw my alarm clock out the window." Craig bent over to pick up the clock. "God wouldn't it just be so silly if some fat hairy Polish guy fucked my tight ass little boy butthole right now." said Craig. Craig grabbed the alarm clock and stood up, then he proceeded to full force launch the alarm clock out of the mother fucking window. As he brushed his hands off and turned around he said, "What... the fuck." There was another alarm clock on the floor.

"Alright, I may be dumber than a fucking brick, but I know that there was not another clock on the fucking floor. Craig quickly picked it up and threw it out the window. He watched as it flew out the window, the flew back at his face at hyper speed and blast him directly in the fucking skull. "OW FUCK ASS RAPE SHIT FUCK CUNT!" Craig yelled. He grabbed the alarm clock and threw it as hard as he could out the window. He watched as a fucking ripped a mother fucking hole in space and time. "WHAT THE FUCK!" he yelled as ran downstairs and out of the house into the backyard. Craig never mowed his lawn, so it was long as fuck. "Holy shit this grass is longer than my fucking pubic hair." said Craig. Craig looked up to see the rip. As he was reaching up he said, "I wonder what would happen if I touched this porta-" Craig then got sucked into the fucking portal harder than his dick has ever been sucked.

Craig blasted through space and time, moving so fast that his clothes get ripped off of his fucking body. If you didn't know, space is cold, like, really motherfucking cold. So Craig's dick retracted into his fucking body. "Hey!" said Craig, "Now I can have a stinky coochie!" Craig looked forward and saw a slit of light. Then, he closed his eyes as he got launched through it. When Craig opened his eyes, he saw a giant alarm clock. It read "11:59". "Well, do I ever have a challenge." said Craig as he ran up to the huge alarm clock and started kicking the shit out of it. Then the clock struck 12, the chime was so loud it caused Craig to fly backwards and land on his ass. Craig looked up at the clock face and watched as a staircase lowered from the center of the clock, and a short lady walked down them and stood in front of him.

"Hello Craig Caboose, I'm mother time, and you have royally fucked up." said Mother Time. "Um, what did I do?" asked Craig. "You have destroyed your 69th alarm clock in a row. Everyday you break an alarm clock. Any man who does this 69 consecutive days in a row is in big trouble, and well. You're the first one to do this ever." responded Mother Time. "Heh, 69..." said Craig. "Are you 5 fucking years old? Laughing at that number." said Mother Time. "Nope, I'm 21." responded Craig. "Heh, 21..." said Craig. "Wow, you're a toddler." said Mother Time. "Who cares, how do I get out of here?" asked Craig. "Well Craig, you will have to 69 with me-" Mother Time got cut off. "69 WITH YOU! WOO, THAT'S NOT A PUNISHMENT YOU'RE SEXY AS HELL!" yelled Craig. "You didn't let me finish," said Mother Time. "You have to 69 with me and get blue balled 69 times." said Mother Time. "Mother... of... fuck..." said Craig. "Let's begin." said Mother Time.

Mother Time the disintegrated the clothes off of her body and flew on top of Craig. Craig's cock then came back out of his body. Mother Time slapped her pussy against Craig's face. As Mother Time started sucking Craig's dick, Craig started eating Mother Time out. "I'm gonna cum!" yelled Craig. Then Mother Time held Craig's hands down and stopped sucking. "AH!" yelled Craig as his dick throbbed in pain. "LET ME FINISH!" he yelled. "One down, 68 to go." said Mother Time.

17 times in Craig's balls had actually started to turn blue. "THIS HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH!" he yelled as it felt like his ball bag was going to implode. 39 times in Craig's balls had tripled in size as they filled with a massive load. 53 times in Craig's balls were the size of his face. 68 times in Craig was screaming as loud as he fucking could. "THIS IS THE MOST AGONY I HAVE EVER BEEN THROUGH!" yelled Craig. "Last time." said Mother Time as Craig got blue balled for the 69th time. "AHH!" yelled Craig as it felt his balls were about to pop. Mother Time stood up and said "There you go Craig, you're free to go now." "No... not yet." Craig said.

Mother Time froze and turned around to see Craig standing hunched over and his head down. Craig looked up and said, "Not until I cum." Then Craig ran at Mother Time at the speed of light tackling her to the ground and cramming his cock in her vagina. "AHH!" yelled Mother Time as she got fucked. Craig showed no sign of stopping. He fucked her for 69 minutes exactly, then, he came. His dick basically became a fucking fire hose as jizz sprayed out of his dick on onto Mother Time with such force destroyed the first layer of her fucking skin. Craig came for 5 minutes straight. When Craig stopped he dropped to the floor and passed out. Mother Time walked over to him. "You did well Craig, I congratulate you. Everyone else didn't make it through." Mother Time look behind her. There was a wall of names that sadly passed while getting blue balled, never being able to cum. "The furthest anyone's ever gotten before you was 68 times. Charlie, he almost made it." said Mother Time. Mother Time picked Craig up off the ground and threw him through the portal.

When Craig woke up it was 10 a.m. "What the fuck happened?" he said to himself. Craig stood up and grabbed his alarm clock and dropped it out the window and onto the burn pile. "One..." he said with a smile on his face.


	8. Chapter 8: The Dangling Pianist

Chapter 8: The Dangling Pianist

Craig mashed his alarm clock up in a bowl and ate it with cereal, then he ran to his window, stuck his fingers down his throat, and threw it up and onto the burn pile. "That was fucking disgusting." said Craig. You know the drill by now, it's 8 p.m. and it's time for Craig to go to The Dangling Pianist. Craig cartwheeled down the side walk. Just kidding loser, Craig's way to out of shape to do that. He just walked. When he arrived he walked in and said, "LADIES, THE SEXONATOR HAS ARRIVED!" The first place Craig went was to the bar, "Hey bartender, can I get a-" Craig froze. "Hey, you're not the normal bartender." Craig said. "Yeah sorry pal, Charlie just didn't show up for work yesterday." the bartender said. "An alarm clock was the only object that was found in his house." "That's weird." said Craig. "Wait, didn't Charlie own this place?" asked Craig. "Yeah, and now that he's gone we're getting shut down." responded the bartender. "Oh yeah that's unfortuna- WAIT WHAAT!?" yelled Craig. "THE DANGLING PIANIST IS GETTING SHUT DOWN!?" "Yeah, it's sad, lotta people had a good time at this place." said the bartender. "You guys can't go, where will I meet the ladies?" asked Craig starting to cry. "I don't know man, but here." The bartender grabbed a picture frame and handed it to Craig. "He was going to give this to you next time you came in. He'd want you to have it." said the bartender. The picture was of Craig in his black shorts and leather jacket, and it had "Most Valued Customer" imprinted at the bottom. "I was most valued customer?" Craig said as he teared up. "Yeah, everyone else in this place hates you, but you were the light of Charlie's day. You always made him smile, made him laugh. He loved you." said the bartender. "Shit," said Craig as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I didn't know anybody actually cared about me." "He said he would've fought so hard for you, he'd do anything to stay alive if it meant seeing your face the next day." said the bartender. "I gotta go..." said Craig as he walked out of The Dangling Pianist looking at the picture and crying.

When Craig got home he hung the picture on the wall of his room and sat down in his chair and started crying. He began to remember his good times in The Dangling Pianist. "NO!" Craig yelled. "I CAN'T GIVE UP THIS EASILY! I HAVE TO SAVE THE DANGLING PIANIST!" Craig stood up fast and wiped the tears from his face and ran back to The Dangling Pianist. He ran up the new bartender and said. "We need to save this place." "I know kid, but I just don't think there's a way. Especially with the club across the street." said the bartender. "Ugh, I hate Murphy's" said Craig. "But I have a plan. All we need to is crash the place." said Craig. "Can't do that, you need to be on a special list to get in there." said the bartender. "The guys are coming to tear this place down in an hour, say your last goodbye's Craig." "I guess.." said Craig as he took one last walk around the club.

After an hour Craig looked out the window as the guys came with a wrecking ball. "Craig you gotta get out of here man." said the bartender. "If this goes down... I go down with it." responded Craig as a tear dipped off of his face and onto the ground. Then, the ground began to shake. "Craig!" said the bartender. "YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE!" "What do you mean?" asked Craig as he tried to keep his balance. "YOU CAN SAVE THIS PLACE!" he yelled. "QUICK GET TO THE ATTIC!" With no questions Craig ran behind the bar and climbed up the ladder to the attic of The Dangling Pianist. Craig saw a control panel. "What the hell?" he said. Craig pushed a button on the board and two giant arms sprung out from the sides of The Dangling Pianist. "HOLY SHIT!" yelled Craig as he pressed another button that caused legs to come out of the bottom, lifting The Dangling Pianist into the air. "THIS IS AWESOME!" he yelled as he pressed a button that made the club kick the wrecking ball into the distance.

Then the Murphy's building across the street started to shake as arms and legs came out of it as well. Murphy's got into a fighting stance. "Oh my fucking God." said Craig as he made The Dangling Pianist put its hands up. "LET'S DO THIS!" The Dangling Pianist started running at Murphy's and punched it, breaking a chunk off of the corner. Murphy's punched The Dangling Pianist causing a window to break. Then Craig felt the pain of being punched in the face. "OW FUCK!" he yelled. "Wait, do I feel the pain that The Dangling Pianist feels?" Then The Dangling Pianist got punched again and Craig felt a pain in his stomach. "AH! YEAH I DO!" he yelled. "Alright Craig, LET'S GO!"

Craig started mashing buttons as Murphy's building was getting blown to pieces. Then Murphy's blocked one of the punches and whipped The Dangling Pianist around in a circle and threw it off into the distance. The Dangling Pianist stood up and put it's hand up "STEP OFF!" yelled Craig as he made The Dangling Pianist karate chop the top of Murphy's causing the building to split directly in half. Both sides of Murphy's blasted off in separate directions until they both weren't visible. Craig put The Dangling Pianist back where it originally was and retracted the arms and legs. Then climbed down the ladder and rand out of the building.

He seen the bartender begin to levitate off the ground as he began to transform into Charlie. "CRAIG!" yelled the bartender before he changed. "IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU!" Then a light brighter than anything caused Craig to go blind for a second. When Craig could see he saw Charlie standing there. "CRAIG!" he yelled as he ran over to Craig and hugged him. "I LOVE YOU SON!"


	9. Chapter 9: The Father (Part 1)

Chapter 9: The Father (Part 1)

Craig was woken up to his dad Charlie flicking the lights off and on really fast. "Dad, fuck off." said Craig as he threw his alarm clock at Charlie. Charlie caught the alarm clock and threw it out the window and onto the burn pile. "It's time to get up Craig, you'll be late for school!" said Charlie. "Dad I don't go to school anymore I'm 21!" yelled Craig. "21? Your 15th birthday was yesterday." Craig shot up and said, "Dad are you fucking retarded?" "Don't talk to your father that way young man. Now you're going to get up, and go to school." said Charlie walking out of the room. "What the fuck is up with him, I told him he could stay here for a while not treat my like I'm fucking 15. Craig walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His 15 year old self was looking back at him. "HOLY FUCK!" yelled Craig, "I'M 15!".

Craig ran downstairs as fast as he could, and ran into the kitchen. "DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD!" yelled Craig. "No shit you fucking dumpling now come take your lunchbox so we can get to school, you don't wanna be late." said Charlie. On the way to school Craig wouldn't shut his mother fucking mouth. "Dad you don't understand, I'm supposed to be 21, something weird is going on here and I don't know how to explain it!" explained Craig. "Son, do we need to get you help? Because you are sounding really weird." said Charlie. "Dad, my name is Craig Caboose and I like sex and going to my favourite club The Dangling Pianist. I literally saved your life after battling a building with another building!" said Craig. "Craig, one, your last name is Stanly. Two, I don't ever wanna hear you talk about sex again. Three, The Dangling Pianist opens in 3 weeks, and four, how fucking gullible do you think I am? Battling a building with another building? That's literally not even possible." said Charlie. "Shit, I forgot I changed my last name to Caboose when I was 19." Craig thought to himself. "Dad, this is going to sound weird, but I'm pretty sure I traveled back in time." said Craig. "Son, I don't have time to think about what the fuck it is that you just said to me, but I'm taking you to Grandpa's house after school," said Charlie as he puled over by the curb so Craig could go to school. "have a good day, love you." "Um, love you too dad." said Craig as he got out of the car and walked into the high school.

When Craig walked in he was greeted by a group of really tall kids. "Hey chump, what the fuck are you doing at school." said the tallest of the group, Brian. "Oh right, I was bullied a lot in highschool. Well, since I'm here I might as well fuck with time right?" thought Craig to himself. "What the fuck do you think I'm doing Brian? I'm here to learn your fucking libtard!" said Craig. "Oh so does somebody think that they're a tough guy huh?" said Brian. "I may not be tough but at least I don't look like a child molester." said Craig. Then the bell rang. "Listen here Craig, tomorrow, after school, back of the school. I'm gonna kick your ass! Be there!" said Brian as he walked to his class. "Oh yeah, the big fight. I got humiliated at that thing. Maybe I could change it and beat his ass instead!" said Craig to himself as he walked to his first class.

Craig's first class was Space Science. When he sat down in his seat he looked to the right and saw her, Angela. The girl of his dreams. "Shit, I forgot about Angela." thought Craig. "After the fight I was going to kiss her, but then I lost and she left with Brian." "Hey Craig." said Angela. "Oh, uh, hi Angela." responded Craig. "So, I heard about the fight that your going to have with Brain tonight." said Angela. "Oh, yeah. I'm gonna kick his ass." said Craig. "Are you now?" asked Angela. "I'll be rooting for you." "Thanks." said Craig as the bell rang and class started.

Craig always sat alone at lunch and today was no different. Craig sat at the same spot he always sat at, in the corner. Brian approached Craig and said, "You're coming to the fight right you little punk?" asked Brian. "No fucking shit you fatass." responded Craig. "Good, because when I'm done with you, you're not going to have an ass." said Brian. "OHH!" said the goons that were with Brian. "That sounds really fucking gay." said Craig. "Are you gay Brian?" "OHHHH!" yelled the goons. "Just fucking be there." said Brian as he walked back to his table.

After school Charlie picked Craig up and said, "Are you ready to go Grandpa's?" "Yeah." responded Craig. Charlie drove to Craig's grandpa's house, Craig's grandpa's name was also Craig, but everyone just called him Caboose. "Right, my grandfather's nickname is Caboose. That's why i changed my last name." thought Craig. Charlie parked the car and they both got out. Craig knocked on Caboose's door and he opened it. "CRAIG! CHAIRLIE! COME IN!" said Caboose. Caboose looked incredibly similar to Craig, almost identical. "Charlie why don't you have a seat, I have something upstairs for Craig." said Caboose. "Alright dad." said Charlie who sat on the couch and turned the TV on. Caboose led Craig upstairs and told him, "Hey Craig, how are you?" "I'm pretty alright. There's just something off." responded Craig. "Oh, trust me I know." said Caboose. "You're in the wrong timeline." "Wait, Caboose, how did you know?" asked Craig. "I was in the same situation you were Craig, and we have to get you back!" he said. "How do we do that?" asked Craig. "First I need to figure out where we need to send you." said Caboose as he slid a giant chest out from under his bed and opened it. "What's in there?" asked Craig. "NO! YOU CAN'T LOOK!" said Caboose, "There's stuff in this chest from your future! Looking at it might make you not do something in the future!" "Ok, fine, but why do you have it?" asked Craig. "Craig, do you recognize this?" asked Caboose as he pulled out a pair of crusty black shorts. "YEAH! THOSE ARE THE SHORTS I WEAR WHEN I'M AN ADULT!" yelled Craig. "Shh, keep your voice down. We don't need Charlie hearing you." said Caboose. "Do you recognize this?" said Caboose pulling out a block of cocaine. "Yeah, that's the block of cocaine I stole while trying to help two dirty cops!" said Craig. "How about this?" asked Caboose pulling out a picture of Craig. Craig grabbed the picture and said, "Yeah, I just got this picture yesterday, right before I destroyed a building." said Craig. "Alright! I know where you need to be!" said Caboose, "Come back tomorrow and we'll get you back home!" "Alright thanks Caboose." said Craig.

"SON! ARE YOU READY TO GO!" yelled Charlie from downstairs. "Yeah Dad!" responded Craig as he ran down the stairs and got back into the car. "What did Caboose show you?" asked Charlie. "Oh just some old toys from his childhood." responded Craig. "Alright." said Charlie as they drove home. When Craig got home he didn't hesitate. He climbed out of his window and ran to the school. He ran around back of the school where he saw a crowd of kids waiting. "So, you decided to show up Craig." said Brian.


	10. Chapter 10: The Father (Part 2) FINALE

Chapter 10: The Father (Part 2) THE FINALE

"So, you decided to show up?" said Brian. "No shit." responded Craig. Craig looked around and saw Angela, she winked at him. "Ay Craig! If you lose, I get Angela over here!" said Brian. "Well then, said Craig. I guess you won't win." "Feelin' a little cocky are we?" asked Brian. "Yep." responded Craig. "Whatever, let's just do this!" yelled Brian as he began to charge at Craig. Brian punched and Craig just stepped out of the way. Then Brian punched again and Craig just pushed it out of the way. "Wow, I can't believe I lost to this guy before." thought Craig. Craig punched Brian square in the face causing him to stumble backwards. Brian wiped the blood off from under his nose. "Looks like I actually have to try." said Brian who then slipped a knife out from his pocket. "Let's dance!" Brian yelled as he ran at Craig. He held the knife up in the air and swiped it down in Craig's direction. Craig quickly moved out of the way and low sweeped Brian causing him to fall onto his feet. Craig put his heel on Brian's nuts and said, "You done?" Brian tried to cut Craig's feet but Craig crushed his nutsack before he could. "AHHH!" yelled Brian as Brian's original 2 balls, were now 28 balls. "Let's go Angela." said Craig as he walked over to Angela and kissed her.

Craig and Angela ran back to Charlie's house and snuck in through the window. They both slept in Craig's bed cuddling eachother into sleep. The next morning Craig woke up and slowly got out of bed so he wouldn't wake up Angela. Then walked downstairs and seen that Charlie had left a note that read, "Went out to buy alarm clocks, be back at 8." Craig walked back upstairs and gently shook Angela to wake her up. "What's up Craig?" asked Angela rubbing her head. "We gotta go to Caboose's place, now." Craig said helping Angela up. "Why do we need to go there?" asked Angela. "I don't have time to explain, let's just go." responded Craig. "Alright." said Angela quickly standing up.

When Craig and Angela got to Caboose's they ran into the house and Craig yelled, "CABOOSE! ARE YOU HOME?" "UPSTAIRS CRAIG, HURRY!" yelled Caboose back. Craig and Angela ran upstairs. Caboose turned and saw Angela. "Just as I remember." said Caboose. "What?" asked Craig. "Nevermind Craig, Angela, you have to leave. This is between Craig, and I." said Caboose. "Um, ok. See you at school Craig." Angela said as she kissed Craig on the cheek. "Um, yeah..." responded Craig as Angela walked down the stairs and out the door.

"Craig, are you ready to go back?" asked Caboose. "Yeah," responded Craig, "Let's get this over with." "Alright Craig, this is going to get kinda weird alright?" said Caboose. "Caboose, I've literally done so much crazy shit. I think I'll be fine." responded Craig. "No Craig you don't understand, there will be a massive consequence if you decide to try to go back." said Caboose. "What is it?" asked Craig. "You can either live here as a 15 year old and slowly catch up with time again, or you go through with this and go back to your timeline and relive everything you've been though, over and over forever." said Caboose. "Do you still want to do this?" Craig paused and thought for a moment. Does he really want to relive all of that again. Sammy? J Dogg? Tayzo? Cyclone? Greg? Juan? Bart? John? Miss Cupcake? Skyler? Barnaby? Mother Time? Murphy's? Brian? Angela? Charlie? Caboose? Does he really want to go through the pain again? Through all the agony?

"Yes." responded Craig. "It's for the best." "Alright Craig." said Caboose. "You won't remember anything you've done, but you'll do it again." "Okay." said Craig. "I guess I wasn't meant to last forever..." "Craig, you need to set this alarm clock off, go lay on my bed and put it right next to your ear, to ensure you wake up." said Caboose. "Alright." responded Craig who lied on the bed and put the alarm clock 0.3 millimeters away from his head. "Goodbye Caboose." said Craig, "I love you." "I love you too Craig Caboose, may you relive your sex-filled adventures." responded Caboose with tears running down his face. Then, Craig drifted off to sleep.

Craig woke to the sound of an alarm clock directly in his fucking ear. "Jesus Christ why did I put my alarm clock 0.3 milimeters away from my damn head?" said Craig angrily. Craig hucked his alarm clock out the window, and onto the burning pile.

THE END


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